Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Dicks are not precious.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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