I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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