i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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