What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize