Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
