she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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