Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
