I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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