Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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