Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
