Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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