a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We left the knife in your bed.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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