awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
