come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Someone stole a lamp last night.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
