i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
