This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
