it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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