My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize