Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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