She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
