I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
