fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
