How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Houston, we have a squirter
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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