Non-Jews are for practice
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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