I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
