I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize