she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
