Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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