Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I am naked and annoyed.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
