But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
