New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
