Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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