His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
