Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
