I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
