I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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