Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
