note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
