Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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