I think I am morally bankrupt
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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