margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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