She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
