Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
