opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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