First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
