where does the pee come out of this thing
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
