everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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