In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
