i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
