so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
