peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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