i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
