How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
