Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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