I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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