When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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