I want to stick my p in your. b.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
