when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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