And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
When did angry sex become our thing?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
